Pivotal Moments

Last night at 1:40am my loving brother decided to call me – perfect timing, thanks champ!! I didn’t get to the phone in time in my sleep induced state, and listened to his voicemail instead.  Thankfully it wasn’t anything urgent, he was just up for a chat.  But it got me thinking about the other phone calls I’ve received at that ungodly hour and what they’ve meant.  There have been a couple of them, and 2 in particular have been the most dreaded, and evidently lead to this post.

In life there are pivotal moments that change everything. Some for the better, some for the worse, some without any sudden consequence but the aftermath can be catastrophic.  2010 was one of those years for me.  It was without a doubt the toughest year of my existence.  But I have come out the other side and 5 years on, life continues. 

I wrote the below post on the 27^th January 2010.  Writing has always been one of my coping mechanisms, and on that day it was one of the many ways I tried to deal with the pivotal moment that changed my world. I'm not entirely sure why I've chosen to share this with you today, but an overwhelming sense of needing to has me doing it.... so here you go...

What Do you Do…..?

You sit there, the words exiting the phone and entering your brain. You know you've heard right, but you still question what's been said. Your mind becomes confused, and starts racing in every direction. You answer with standard replies "Ahuh....yep....Ok...". Although you know you have to process the words into a meaning you search for the right one. And then it hits you. Like a car hitting a brick wall. Like the unsuspecting slap to the face that it is. The emotions begin. You can feel it swelling in your throat, you chest tightens, your voice waivers, you blink, waiting for the water works to begin. They don't. You continue with the conversation in a blank state until the words have been said and you know it's time to hang up. You stare at the phone and want to throw it. But don't. The thoughts in your mind still racing. The irrational ones start to slip in. And then the selfish ones appear. This isn't about you, yet you still have your selfish thoughts about how you will be affected.  You look around the tiny room your in. Look at the carpet, at the glass sliding door, checking to see if anyone has seen your reactions so far, and if you look normal. You know as soon as you leave that tiny space it all becomes a reality. You decide to stay in there a while longer, to let it sink in. But what needs to sink in doesn't want to. How can it? And again it doesn't make sense. You want to scream. But don't. You haven't cried. You feel guilty for not crying yet. Why haven't you cried? This isn't the place to cry. These people don't need to see that. You don't want them to see that.  You wait a little longer thinking the emotion will kick in physically soon, hoping that it does to make you feel normal. Don't normal people cry at times like these? Why haven't you cried? The mental fight continues but doesn't get any easier. You know it's time to face the reality. You have to leave the room. You have to get some air. You feel the suffocation of it all begin to choke you. Let me out. I need to be away from here. I need air.  You slowly slide the door open, you wander to your desk, grab you glasses and wallet and head outside for the air you were gasping for. As soon as you feel the breeze on your face it really hits you. The reality is horrible. It hurts so much more than you could ever imagine. The tears start. You're normal. You thank yourself for having enough brains to grab your glasses. They can help shield the tears. They help shield the pain. You look around for the familiar face you know is coming for you. It's there. You feel safe. You let out the pain the instant he touches you. The tears are unstoppable. You go back to thinking your abnormal. The thoughts start to calm themselves. You look into that face you know will be there when it all goes bad and hope it never goes away. You feel relief. You feel guilt. You feel sad. You feel heartbroken. You still feel pain. But it will subside soon....won't it.....?

At least that's what I did today when I found out my mother has 6 months to live.

Reflections & Realisations

I was at 1^st Birthday Party a couple of months ago when I met up with a friend I don’t get to see very often.  He said something that has stuck with me ever since, and gave me a bit of a warm glow. Although his tone was almost like he was telling me off, I took what he said as quite a compliment;

“When are you going to write something again? I don’t care what it’s about, but can you please just write something again? I really like your style of writing, it’s a good read.”

So I’ve sat on this statement for the last 3 months, pondering what to write.  It’s been hard to try and put in to words what I have felt about my journey on this blog… and the fact that I haven’t updated it in a year.

Firstly, I’m going to get out of the way the fact that did not reach my initial goal.  I did not loose the 20kg I had set to loose.  I fluctuated between loosing 5-7kg for the entire year.  But can I tell you what did happen, I learnt so much about myself and the process of what I was trying to achieve that by the time my wedding came around, I did not give two figs about what I weighed and nor did my husband.  My wedding day was and still is one of the absolute happiest days of my life.  The ones we love surrounded us, and they got to witness the love we have for each other, which after all is the whole point.  I wore a dress that was hand made with love, and fit my shape perfectly. I could not have been happier that day, and I now know that my weight was never a factor to my happiness.  Yes, weighing less is still something I am working towards, but for my health, not because I think my husband will be happier with a skinnier version of me.

There are many things that have happened over the last 12 months, and Personal Development and growth are just 2 of those things, but they’re probably the most important. 

*I have changed jobs, and grown to realize that my health & happiness is far more important than any job, and trying to please the people you work for with their unrealistic expectations will never lead to the things I was truly looking for. 

*I have learnt there is no single way to parent and that what I do is neither wrong or right, it’s just my way.  And what works for me is what matters to me, what works for you is what matters to you. And that difference of opinions in parenting is just that, a difference of opinion.   The way another person parents is completely up to them, and until it impacts me and my family directly then it’s absolutely no business of mine what they get up to.

*I have learnt that I am not a “hands on” Mother.  Perhaps that’s not the right word for it, but I’m struggling to find the correct word. I certainly get in there and do my bit, but I am fortunate enough to have a husband who does his equal share if not more.  The saying “it takes a whole village to raise a child” is so true in my world.  We have laid some very important foundations for what we believe is important for our little girl, but we are certainly open to her experiencing more than what we can give her.

* I have learnt to be more open… to everything!  Earlier this year, I let myself be open enough to listen to an idea that I would have previously dismissed in the blink of an eye.  But instead, I sat, I listened, I took in what was around me, and with that I have started a new business that I never imagined I would be part of.  Since starting this business I have never been happier. I feel like I’ve found what I was looking for, that I have finally found my place. It’s a strange feeling being so certain about something, but I’m certain this is where I’m meant to be and what I’m meant to be doing.

* I have learnt that family is not always those that are your blood relatives.  We are lucky to be surrounded by some beautiful people that mean the absolute world to us. These people are such a huge part of our lives, and we will always see them as our family.

Secondly, on this Mother’s Day, I want to write about my Mum.  As some of you know, my Mum, Bev, passed away from Cancer in 2010.  She was just 57 years old.  But in her short 57 years, she achieved many great things.  And it’s these things that have made me realize what’s really important to me.

My Mum was one of the people that seemed to lack the filter between brain and mouth.  She rarely thought before she spoke and would often offend people with her careless choice of words.  However, what’s important to know about my Mum is that she didn’t have a mean bone in her body.  She never once said something to intentionally hurt someone, she just didn’t realize what she was saying could hurt someone’s feelings.   I think I have a certain amount of this feature in me.  I am often referred to as “direct”.  Very true, I will always tell it like it is.  But just like my Mum, it’s not to hurt people.  I’ve always thought that honesty is the best policy, and pussyfooting around the truth is never going to help anyone. 

Mum was a homebody.  She loved staying in on the weekends and doing her sewing or knitting or cooking or whatever project she had on the go.  My memories of weekends at home are filled with the sounds of Mum’s sewing machines, the smells of something delicious cooking in the oven or on the stove, and the peace that it all brought her.  We live a life that seems to fill up our weekends going here there and everywhere.  We don’t often have a weekend at home, but when we do I try to bring about the peace I remember Mum had in her home.  I cook some of her favorite meals, and although I can’t sew I try to do something creative of my own.  It’s these simple things that help to reset me and bring me the peace I’m looking for.  It’s taken me a while to realize it, but my Mum was on to a good thing.

I can remember growing up some of the things my Mum used to say to us as kids, and I find myself saying those same things to my daughter now.  Once upon a time this would have been a frightening thing, “oh no, I’m turning into my mother!”  But when you don’t have a mother, just her memories, trying to emulate her is such an important part of keeping those memories alive.  If I am half the mother that my own Mum was to me, then I think I’m doing OK.

My Mum had a beautiful soul.  She was truthful, she was real, she was basic, she was rare, and she was my Mum.  And this year, just like every year, I miss her and thank her for the love she gave me and gifts in life she taught me.  Because of her, I am a Mother who squeezes her daughter just a little bit tighter every night, just incase she needs an extra bit of love. 

Finally, I've decided to keep this blog going, and the name will remain the same because each year I feel like a new me arises.  I'm not that same person I was from one year to the next.  It won't be about weight loss but it will be about me and the changes life brings my way.  

Warm love and happiness to you all xx

Being a part of someone's Big Dream

Being a part of something special is always an amazing feeling.  This weekend I get to do just that and watch Mr Fitness achieve a goal he's had since I've known him.  He'll be completing in The North Face 100, one of Australia's toughest Ultramarathon's.

One of the most important things I've learned is to dream big.  Without those big dreams we'll never achieve the small things along the way.  Watching Mr Fitness achieve his small goals along the way to achieving this very large goal has been a very rewarding experience.

When we first met, almost 6 years ago, he had only just begun running.  And after seeing that I had done a few fun runs, he signed up to do his first 10km run.  I'll never forget watching him at the start line, full of nerves and anticipation. He was a very different body shape back then, and as he crossed the finish line, to say he was exhausted is an understatement! The look of disbelief on his face that he'd just run 10km was quite amazing to see. But he had a sense of pride about him, that he was truely happy for achieving this goal.

Of course, by now he had the running bug, and he continued to sign up for more fun runs, each one further than the last.  And each time, I saw the same nervous man at the start line, and the same look of happiness and pride at the end.  With every new goal reached he'd instantly be looking for a bigger one, a better one, all the time talking about The North Face 100, and how amazing it would be to run it one day.  The awe he had watching the documentaries, the inspiration he received from reading the blogs of the elites and watching their stories unfold.
Before long, he had completed his first marathon, The Portland 3 Bays.  It was a tough course for a first marathon, or so we were told, but Mr Fitness took it all in his stride and finished in a time of 3 hours and 53 minutes.  There were no injuries, no stumbling over the line, and his recovery was pretty short.  I was expecting to see him hobbling about the next day, but no, he was just about ready to start running again.  I think this was when I started to realise the potential he had with his running, and how well he could really do.  So of course it was only natural that the next event be longer and tougher.  He signed up for the 2Bays Ultra.  A 56km trail run over Arthurs Seat and back again.  He did well in the run, and crossed the line with the ever familiar smile of proud achievement.  But his immediate recovery wasn't great, his nutrition needed some work, it was obvious his body needed more nutrients than it was getting.

So that year for his birthday I sent him away on an Apline Trail Running camp, run by Matt Cooper, one of Australia's best trail runners.  He was in awe of Coops and the information he had to share.  When he returned from his weekend he had a new lease of life with his running an was prepared to get his nutrition and in order to match his fitness.

Next thing I know, he's signed up for The North Face 100.  I was surprised at the time, unsure if he was really ready for that distance yet, but he seemed so determined there was no way i was going to doubt his decision.
His preparation has been great, his nutrition has been fairly spot on.  He's got his race gear sorted and the pre-race nerves have well and truely set in.  To say he's excited is an understatement.  To say I'm excited is an even bigger one! Being a part of this entire process has taught me a lot about the person he is and what can be achieved when you really want something.
I cannot wait to see him cross that finish line and achieve his "Big Dream", I am already so completely proud of everything he has done for himself and the person he has become through his running.  It's been exactly the push I need to motivate me to continue pursuing my own goals.

Stay tuned for a full race report after this weekend.
Until then, I send you all my postivity and love!

I'm Baaaack!!

It's been about 4 months since my last blog post. To say I've been slack on the updates is an understatement.

So much has been happening in my world that I feel like I haven't had the time to devote to my writing like I would want to.  So here I am, on the train, 7:30pm on a Monday night trying to get my blog back up and running.

Firstly, the elephant in the room, my weight... I'm weighing in at 91.7kg. So not much of a loss, but I'm looking at the positives; I haven't gained any weight and I'm feeling so much better about myself in so many ways! So what is it that has contributed to me feeling so great? Several things actually!

1. I'm back at work!  Full time. I realised a few months ago that I was VERY ready to return to work. After discussions with my employer, I returned to full time work at the start of April. And although the hours are long with my commute in to the city every day, I feel that I'm getting back to the person I know & love. I have a purpose, other than raising a beautiful daughter, and I feel that I'm doing the right thing for me.  I take my hat off to the Mum's & Dad's of the world who can be a full-time stay-at-home parents, it's an extremely demanding and tough job, but it's not one I feel that I fit in to.  Being in a office with adults is where I belong & I'm so glad I've decided to return to work!

2. I'm moving more! You may recall from an earlier post that I bought a fitbit to track my daily movements.  My aim was to walk 10,000 steps a day. In the beginning I would reach my target maybe 4 out of 7 days... but now I'm going over my target everyday! I think I may increase my target to 15,000 steps a day!

3. I discovered trail running!  To the people close to me, this may seem like an odd thing considering I'm surrounded by trail runners quite often. But watching others do it, and participating in it are 2 completely different things!  In March, Mr Fitness competed in the Mt Baw Baw Marathon for the second year in a row. We stayed up on the mountain this year to enjoy the atmosphere of the whole festival as there were several other running events on over the weekend, including a 13km run, a 3.5km kids run, a 13km twilight run & a 1.5km technical uphill & downhill time trial.  After much deliberation I signed up for the 3.5km kids run (you have to start somewhere!). As I ran off into the beautiful surrounds of Mt Baw Baw in all it's glory, it didn't take long for me to finally "get it".  With kids running past me & adults jogging along with them, I was very soon lost to my surroundings and in the moment.  My breathing wasn't great, especially up some of the inclines, but I felt very present and loved every one of the 34 minutes it took for me to complete the run.  Inspired by this, I've signed myself up for all 4 short-course events in the Salomon Trail Running Series. Mr Fitness will be taking a back-seat for these events while I get out there & enjoy a jog in the beautiful outdoors along some of Victoria's loveliest trails.

4. Surrounding myself with positive people!  Recently, some wonderful people have entered mine & Mr Fitness' world.  They're all like minded positive people that love a good laugh.  Awesome people can make other things in your life seem more awesome, and for this I'm very grateful.  Spending less time with the negative & more time on the positive has made me feel like I'm getting back to my old self and like I can achieve what I've set out to do.

So to all of you reading, I send positivity and love in return for sharing yourself with me.

Until next time... Love love love to all!

Reflections of Honesty

I've been remiss from posting any updates on my blog of late, and I need to be completely honest with you and tell you all why....

This morning I stepped on the scales and my weight was 93kg.  Which means in 93 days I've lost a total of 2kg.  Yep, you read that correctly, just 2kg.  To say I'm disappointed in myself is a bit of an understatement, however, I am not scratching my head in disbelief, I know exactly why this has happened.  I have made poor food choices and have not exercised as much as I should.  I could reel off every excuse under the sun as to why I have made the food choices I have, and why I haven't exercised as much as I've intended.  But that is all they would be, excuses.  

However, I am not letting this defeat me.  I am not giving up.  I have a goal and I will reach it.  

Being at the low point I feel I'm at right now has made me reflect on 2013 and what I've learned along the way.  Here are my Top 5 lessons of 2013:

1. Never underestimate the kindness of people.

When I became pregnant, Mr Fitness and I became completely overwhelmed with the kindness and generosity of everyone around us.  Baby news brings out something in people that isn't always shown on the surface, it can make the crankiest of people smile so big that they have the urge to hug you and squeal like a school girl.  It really is a delightful thing.  And the kindness of people doesn't stop there.  When I began my blog 93 days ago, the response of my friends and family and their support was so inspiring, it really opened my eyes and made me realise how much all of you actually care.  You all gave me that warm fuzzy feeling - thank you :)

2. Motherhood is awesome!

I have to admit, this is not something I ever expected to say out aloud or write down for the world to see.  Although we planned on having our little Princess and we were definitely excited about becoming parents, I really never imagined that this whole experience would be as awesome as it is.  And I can't think of any other word to describe it.  The high's, the low's, the unconditional love and the smile's every morning really are the best thing in my life.  They're a huge part of the reason I get up each day and want to be a better person.  I don't think anyone can quite grasp just how awesome it all is until they become a parent. 

3. Just because I wouldn't do it that way, doesn't make it wrong.

This was reiterated to me when I went on the Summit Sisters retreat.  I met so many women who were all so different in so many ways, yet not one of them was an unkind or horrible person.  Being the stubborn person that I am, I'm usually very much of the opinion that it's my way or the highway (Mr Fitness can vouch for that one - poor love), but 2013 and all of it's crazy experiences it bought my way, has shown me that just because I wouldn't do it that way, doesn't make it wrong.  And, more importantly, if someone's actions have no negative impact on me, then it's really none of my business and who am I do be so judgemental?! 

This point is something I'm still working on, but I feel that I'm a little more open minded than I was 12 months ago - and that can only be a good thing.

4. Falling over is OK.

Boy have I fallen. A LOT!  But you know what, without the falls and crashes in life, how will I ever appreciate the triumphs and successes?  Falling over, or off the bandwagon is, to me, an essential part of life.  It teaches us we're all vulnerable, and no-one is perfect.  It makes us humble.  The most important part of the fall is getting back up.  As long as I get back up and learn from my fall then it was all worth it.  I once had an amazing trainer who used to say to me often "train hard, fight easy". He was so right.  

5. There's always room for cake!

For those of you that know me, you'll know how much I love cake. It's my favourite food.... EVER!  I consider cake a food group. I love cake so much I started making them for a bit of fun. And not just a sponge here or there, I started making the big fancy one's for people's birthdays and engagements & now I even take orders and make a little bit of cash out of it.

My one saviour in my love for cake is that one slice is enough for me.  It doesn't even need to be a huge slice, just a small tasting and I've had my fix.  I'm OK with not having cake everyday or even every week.  But when there's a cake in my immediate vicinity I generally always have a small piece. The greatest lesson my love for cake has taught me is that without the small indulgences like a sliver of cake, the hard work isn't worth it.  So I will continue to indulge in cake occasionally, but I will also continue to work hard to earn it. 

These are just some of the lessons I've learned in 2013.  I'm hoping 2014 brings me plenty more life lessons to broaden my view on the world and appreciate all it has to offer.  

I'm 274 days and 18kg away from my goal, and I will get there.  The road has been bumpy, but 2014 is shaping up to be awesome, so let's see if I can smooth it out and get myself back on track.  

Finding My Balance with Summit Sisters

You've all heard me mention previously how supportive and wonderful Mr Fitness is, well he's gone above and beyond this time, and sent me away for 3 nights on a Summit Sisters Balance Retreat.  It was originally meant to be a complete surprise for my birthday, but there were pieces of info he needed from me, so the cat was let out of the bag.  Let me tell you all about my wonderful weekend....

Friday morning I was up nice and early with Princess A and Mr Fitness and they took me to the airport to catch a flight to Sydney.  Sitting at the airport contemplating what lie ahead of me, I became so nervous and anxious, the tears began to well in my eyes.  I was leaving my little girl for 3 nights. I had never spent a night away from her and it was going to be very emotional saying goodbye. I was also about to spend the weekend with a bunch of women I'd never met - generally speaking, I would try and avoid groups of women to eliminate the judging and bitching that can often come from women. I needed a distraction, so I browsed the bookshop for something to read on my weekend, and decided to go with some fiction.... then realised it was the first time in over a year I'd read a book that wasn't about being pregnant or parenting...WOW!! As my flight was called to board, I hugged my family and watched them walk away - thank goodness I had my sunglasses with me to hide my tears!

Arriving in Sydney, I picked up my hire car and received a triple upgrade - thanks Avis! Then headed off on my way to the lovely town of Bundanoon. As I followed the directions on my smart phone I could feel the nervous feelings start to rise up again as I got closer and closer to my destination.  When the little voice came over the speakers with "Your destination is on your left" I had finally reached the beautiful property called "Bellmore".  Driving through the gates I was instantly overcome with emotion, I had the sense I was coming home.  The property was breathtaking, with a Buddha Dam, horses roaming in the paddock, rabbits bouncing about and kangaroos bounding away.  Feelings of nervousness and a fear of the unknown was ripe in my mid. The tears welled uncontrollably in my eyes... and then into my view came the beautiful Moroccan Villa. It was HUGE!!  I pulled the car up in the parking space and took a long deep breathe to try and control my emotions.

Out of the house bounded a lovely young lady full of smiles and warmth.  As she approached me my anxiety and nerves started to fade. I introduced myself and she said she had read my blog and was very excited to have me here, then asked if she could hug me.  It was one of the loveliest hugs I'd ever received, full of warmth and support. I instantly knew I was in the right place and that my weekend would be filled with some great experiences, and that this must be Gretel, one of my hosts.
As she walked me inside, I was greeted by Jo, the other host, and yet another lovely smile and reassuring hug.  After our introductions, I looked about and took in my surroundings.... WOW!!  The house was beautiful! The energy was spacious and warm and instantly calming.

I was shown to my room and then able to have a walk about and explore the house and property. Each room was HUGE! With a bathroom equally as large!  I had a goody bag on my bed with a few items from some of the Summit Sisters sponsors - who doesn't love a goody bag!
I wandered down to the kitchen where I met Greta & Phil, the beautiful mothers of Gretel & Jo. They were to be our cook's for the weekend.  They had a lovely nurturing nature about them that made me feel very safe and secure, I just wanted to hug them and take them home with me.

It was explained to me that the weekend was all about relaxing and enjoying myself, so my first task was to sit down and have a cup of tea - I'd forgotten how awesome it is to finish a whole cup of tea while it was still hot!  After a short while the other guests started to arrive.  Generally speaking this would have made me very nervous and being the insecure person I am, I would normally feel like everyone was judging me.  But that just wasn't the case.  Within a very short while of meeting these amazing women, it was very clear we were all so very different, yet we'd all come to the same place, so the differences were not an issue, rather our own little uniqueness that set us each apart... but we all had a similar goal - to relax and enjoy ourselves.

Jo & Gretel went through the official welcome and introduced themselves formally and gave us a little background on how & why they came to create Summit Sisters and what they were wanting to achieve with their Balance Retreat - a place where women of all different ages and backgrounds could come together to relax and share in each others knowledge and goals. They also explained that while there was an itinerary for the weekend, we were not obliged to attend every yoga session, or workshop.  It was all voluntary and if ever anyone was out of there comfort zone then they were not required to do anything at all.  It was so nice to have no pressure on participating.

After the formal introductions and hearing about why each of us were there - and yes, there were several tears from my emotional little self... but the support and warmth I received from everyone was very reassuring, it was now time to head off on a short walk to the Buddha Dam for a guided meditation.  I've done a bit of meditation in the past and was more than happy to participate as I knew the healing benefits of meditation, but I never imagined the release this particular meditation would give me.  I really did leave my stress and worries down there by the dam, and as I felt the tears falling down my face I felt my heart and mind open up to any new experience I would have over the weekend.  It was a beautiful way to start my journey.

A large part of our weekend was centred around food and sharing great meals together.  As always, food is such a great way of bringing people together, and the food we were served was very delicious and nutritious.  Not only that, but we were all given a Summit Sisters recipe book to take home to recreate the meals if we wished.  Great idea!

Saturday started with our first yoga session.  I've not done a lot of yoga in the past, but I have to say it became my favourite part of the weekend.  Jo is an excellent teacher, making sure everyone has a chance to do each exercise, adding different levels of advancement where necessary.  Not once did I feel like the novice I am, most of the time I didn't even notice the other women around me, I was far too busy focusing on my breath and posture.  There were 2 sessions a day and each time I could feel myself focusing more on each pose and stretch, it was a great feeling.  This first yoga session became a very pivotal point in the weekend for me.  That day was 3 years to the day since my Mum passed away, and it's still very emotional for me. But, at the end of the session, as with each yoga session, we were doing another guided meditation.  It was in that beautiful moment that I could feel my Mum's hand on my shoulder and feel her love surrounding me.  I've had this feeling on other occasions, but this time it was as if she was helping me to open up and enjoy my experience. From that point on, I had a smile on my face for the entire weekend.

Our day continued with more focus on nutritious food and also a wellness and balance workshop.  This workshop was such an eye opener.  It really made me think about my values in life and what my priorities are, and that it's OK to have different values than the person next to you.  I found it to be a very confronting exercise, but one I'd like to continue to do every six months or so to keep myself in check.

That afternoon we had the option of going for a hike.  We were taken to a beautiful nearby national park where we hiked down to the base of a stunning waterfall.  The views were quite amazing and it gave a few of us the chance to chat individually, again teaching me that our individualities were such an important part of each of us.  Taking in my surroundings and just being in the moment helped me to clear my head of too many thoughts.  I also had the feeling of really living, like I wasn't wasting my days away, that I was actually out seeing parts of the world I'd never seen before and it was just beautiful.

After returning to the house, we were treated to a wine and cheese tasting. Jo & Gretel had approached local businesses from the Southern Highlands and were able to provide us with some delicious wine from Tertini Wines and delectable cheeses from Small Cow Farm.  The region has some amazing produce to offer and I for one have already ordered some of their amazingness online to enjoy over the Christmas break!

Sunday morning I woke feeling wonderful and really looked forward to our yoga session, which was followed by yet another delicious meal.  That afternoon I attended the dream setting and achievement workshop.  Again, more learning about what I really want in my life.  I loved that we were encouraged to dream big - the bigger and more unreachable the better!  It certainly gave me a lot to think about and before I knew it there were so many goals and dreams on my page I barely had any room left.  We were also encouraged to think about small steps to take in order to achieve these goals.  Little by little I felt like I'd etched out a plan to achieve some amazing things, and not just to "win lotto" but to actually make the change and do something about what I want.  It seems so simple when I say it now, but prior to this weekend, I would never even imagined some of the items on my list were possible....now I can't imagine them not being possible.

The highlight of Sunday for me had to be my 30 minute massage with "Magic Hands" Meg.  She was brilliant and created a wonderful environment to relax in while she worked on my tense spots - I walked away feeling like I was floating.

Our dinner on Sunday night was yet again another 3 course feast full off delicious nutritious food & wine.  I have to say, the meal times were definitely a highlight of the weekend. Each meal I found myself sitting next to someone different and learning more and more about them and me.

Monday morning seemed to come around far too quickly and before I knew it we were doing our last yoga session and eating our last meal together. The mixed emotions of sadness for the experience being over, and happiness over the realisation of the small personal goals I'd achieved was hard to process.  But finally we said our goodbyes and my trip back to Melbourne began.

Over the course of the weekend I had a chance to sit down with Jo and Gretel individually and chat about so many different aspects of their world and mine.  The help and support they gave me and the confidence to continue my journey was invaluable.  I met some incredible women and learnt so much about myself, and I really can't thank Summit Sisters enough for creating such a fantastic weekend.  I walked away with a clarity and peace I've not felt in a very long time.

Summit Sisters run some amazing trail events/runs and retreats based in NSW. You never know, with enough persistence, I may even be able to persuade them to run an event in Victoria!
Please check out their website here for any information and to connect with some great women.

Gadgets for the Win!

It's been about 2 weeks since my last post.  In that time I've been quite up and down with my exercise & eating habits.  But... I feel like I'm actually making progress!

I received many comments and tips from some of my lovely readers on how to motivate myself, and as per my last post, I've now set some goals to work towards.  In this post I wanted to share with you my Top 3 tips that I've implemented and how they've been working for me.

1. Get a Fitbit

One lovely friend suggested that I get a Fitbit to help track my movements and steps throughout the day.  I've been wearing my Fitbit for a week now and have completely fallen in love! I'm very much a gadget person, whether for fitness, kitchen or office, I love me a fancy new gadget to get me going.  The Fitbit has been an excellent motivation to get my butt off the couch and achieve my daily goal of 10,000 steps.  In fact, given that my intent is to exercise daily, I've just upped my goal to 15,000 steps a day. Seeing my iPhone flash with the little badge when I've reached my goal, and seeing my Fitbit light up when I'm doing an awesome job is like having my own personal cheer-squad. I can highly recommend the Fitbit to anyone who is interested in getting themselves moving.

2. Set a good soundtrack

Another great suggestion was to set myself a good soundtrack while I'm working out.  Again I've gone in the gadget direction and dug out my iPod Shuffle.  I set up a new workout play list and have made sure that every song that comes on is one to help me up my pace and get me moving whether I'm at the gym, walking or going for a jog.  Today was an especially good day for motivating songs.  I was on the exercise bike at the gym feeling particularly pumped and motivated, and then on came the Hilltop Hoods with "Chase that feeling".  And boy did I chase! I could see my goal right in front of me and I felt so focused and in the moment - such an awesome feeling.  Then to top if off, the next song was Alicia Keys "Girl on Fire". I love me a great a rockin' song about chicks kicking ass! 

3. Set a workout time

The final piece of advice I've taken on board was from my lovely sister.  She suggested I set a time to exercise and stick to.  Yet again, the gadgets have come in to play.  Mr Fitness and I share an iCalendar to make sure we're not double booking ourselves for social events etc. I'm extremely lucky to have a gym in my area that also provides daycare for 1 hour sessions. So I've made sure that I've booked in with the daycare up to 2 weeks in advance and put it in our shared calendar for every workout session I intend on doing.  This has been great at getting me out there and working hard.  I'm not one for being late to appointments or letting people down and cancelling, so if it's in the diary I'm more than likely to make it happen.

So far the scales aren't showing a lot of progress... but I'm really starting to feel great.  I have more energy and my clothes are very slowly starting to loosen up - wahoo!!