I Need Your Help...

I'm at Day 16 of my challenge.... still a VERY long way to go, and I'm asking for your help.

When I started this challenge I was full of gusto and determination.  I was ready to face my reality and attack my issues head on, but in all honesty I'm already lacking a bit of motivation.  Not with the entire concept, just with the exercise portion of my challenge.

I stated in my opening post that I would exercise daily.  So far I've lied. I've not done anywhere near the amount of exercise I should be doing.  My Fiancé, Mr Fitness, has very plainly explained my issue. "You suffer from this a lot, honey. You start off so well and then loose interest and motivation."  He's dead on, my interest and motivation has definitely started to wain.  For many of you that know me, I'm sure you think the exercise part of this challenge should come quite easily.  I like being active, Mr Fitness is a qualified Personal Trainer (aside from his day job) and for the last 8 years I've always had some sort of fitness goal I was striving for, from running half marathon's to walking 100km, there was always something I was working towards to keep my fitness on track. However, I seem to be lacking what it takes to get me back to my glory days of fabulous fitness.

A few weeks ago I injured my left calf and have been having intense physiotherapy each week to try and get it sorted.  My main issue with this is that it stopped me from going to my beloved Step class & Spin class at the gym.  I got very down on myself for not being able to attend these sessions, but in reality there a million other things I could be doing for myself! As Mr Fitness has so kindly pointed out to me, I could do an ab-workout, focus on my upper body strength, or just get out there and walk with Princess A & Poppy.  But no, I have only done these things a couple of times since I began.  

I did manage to get out and about last night with Mr Fitness, Princess A & Poppy for a lovely walk, and I took these pics along the way.


Although it was an enjoyable time with my family, it's just not enough.  I seem to have lost my mojo with wanting to get out there a be active.  I need to find it again, and I'm asking for your help.  Do have any suggestions for getting me back on track?  Can you share any tips that you might use to keep you focused on your fitness?  I'd love to hear from you, so please leave a comment below, or on my Facebook page.

So Far So Good.

Today is Day 11 of my challenge, and so far I've been happy with my results and commitment, however there's always room for improvement.

On Day 9 I weighed in at 93.4kg - Yay for me!!

When I began this process I didn't want to do a weekly weigh-in as such, I also didn't want to take measurements of myself. But I do need to track my process and report in on how I'm doing, so that I'm still being accountable for my actions. So I have decided to randomly weigh myself when I feel like I need a boost. I often find when I'm feeling like my hard work and determination is getting me nowhere, if I jump on the scales I'm usually proven wrong.  I just need to ensure I don't go overboard with wanting to weigh myself. Being too dependant on the scales has not done me well in the past, and I don't expect it will in the future.  I can remember a time when I would weigh myself nearly everyday... and the only thing it ever did for me was turn me into a weight obsessed calorie counter, and clearly that wasn't good for me, nor did it work.  I would worry about every item that entered my mouth and what the calorie content was.  I was never concerned with the nutritional value of what I was eating, which I believe is far more important than how many calories are in your meal.

Some time ago, I discovered a book called the Primal Blueprint by Mark Sisson.  Basically his theory is that returning our eating & exercising habits to that of the caveman can reduce several health risks and improve your overall well being (you can check out Mark's website here).  I found it to be a very interesting read, and a lot of what he was saying just made sense to me.  Since reading his book, I've discovered a whole world of people who are subscribing to the Primal lifestyle, which is quite similar to a Paleo lifestyle, and they all seem to healthier and happier since they began their journey.  One of the main points of a Primal/Paleo diet is to eat natural whole foods - the less human intervention the better.  I'm sure most of you know the damage refined sugars and the like can do to your health, and since my journey is not just about loosing weight, but also about being healthier and happier, I've decided to get back on the Primal/Paleo bandwagon.

Prior to pregnancy my diet was about 80% Primal.  This is what I aim to get back to.  During pregnancy I lost my way and gave in to the cravings of breads, pastas and all the deliciousness that comes in the form of carbs.  After having Princess A I didn't stop, I continued on the downward spiral of eating processed foods and all things bad.... and a LOT of it.  So my big change has been getting back into the habit of eating fresh, whole, non-processed food.  And I've found some delicious recipes  and tips that I'd like to share with you on occasion.

Being Primal means cutting out all grains.  That's right ALL grains.  So, no bread, pasta, flours, cereals etc.  Which can make breakfast a little difficult.  Luckily I love eggs... and nuts.  Because my 2 main breakfast choices are now either an omelette loaded with tomato, bacon, zucchini and mushrooms OR Paleo Nut Granola with natural yoghurt.  I found a brilliant website called Eat Drink Paleo that's loaded with recipes and tips for delicious Paleo food ideas.  So far this Nut Granola has been my saviour for a quick breakfast.  You can find the Nut Granola and other great recipes by clicking here.

It's important that I reiterate that I'm only trying to achieve an 80% Primal diet.  My main reason for this is simple.... I still want to live a normal life and go out to eat with my friends and family.  I want to able to celebrate special occasions with people and have a drink or 2 when I'm out socialising.  I don't want to be one of those people that gets invited over for dinner, but then says, "Sorry, I don't eat that anymore."  I have no allergies, I have no reason to not eat what someone has lovingly prepared for me. I will simply accept and enjoy the meal... but I will be eating less of what is offered than I previously would have.  This is my choice, just as you will have your choice in how you achieve your goals.

As the title of my post suggests, so far so good.  I'll continue on my way hope for more great results next time I post :)

With Support Comes Courage

It has take me 2 days to work up the courage to post these pics, but with the overwhelming support I have received from my friends and family & the Facebook community, I've plucked up enough courage to show you all my starting point.
The purpose of these shots is purely to remind myself of what I was when I started this journey - what I am right now.  By posting these onto such a public space, I'm hoping it will give me the motivation to not be this way again.  To me, these shots are not just a physical representation of what i don't want to look like, they show me the how unhappy & unhealthy I am.

Behind the clothes, make-up and bulges there is a heart that is full of love for a Fiancé & baby, but none for myself. This is what I'm trying to change.  One of my Mum's favourite songs was Whitney Houston's "Greatest Love of All".  She would play it in the car, rewinding the cassette each time it ended to hear it again.  It was a song my sister and I would sing at the top of our lungs in our bedroom in front of the mirror.  At the time I didn't quite understand it's meaning.... but now I do.  And this is what I'm trying to achieve from this process.  At this point in time, I do not love myself. I have trouble even liking myself some days.  But I used to love the person I was and I was confident about who I was. I know it will return, but it will take time, and hard work. And that is what I know I can do - hard work. I will make this happen. I will achieve my goal.

Thank you to everyone who has shown me their support.  It has been very overwhelming.  I am so appreciative.  XXX

The Beginning

Wednesday 16^th October 2013. 

Today it starts. Today I change. Not tomorrow, not next week, but today. I’ve let it go on far too long, and I can’t keep doing this to myself.  I need to act now or I fear I’ll continue on a downward spiral.

I stepped onto the bathroom scales and saw that too well rounded number and the fear and loathing that comes with that number set in far too quickly.  I will not be angry about this. I will not let this upset me. I will change. I will be proactive and do what it takes to get myself back. To be the person I was, who I really am. 

So I am taking a stand against myself and everything I don’t want to be. I am putting this out there for the world to see and being accountable for my actions.  I can’t hide from something that I’m making so public. 

Today, Wednesday the 16^th October 2013, I weigh 95.0kg.  In 1 year and 2 days time, my goal is to be 20kg lighter. 

“Why 1 year and 2 days” I hear you ask? Because that’s the day that I’ll be marrying the love of my life, the father of my beautiful baby and my best friend.

Although, this isn’t just about looking good for my wedding day, this is about being a better parent, being a better role model.  My little girl is 5 months and 1 week old. She is the single greatest thing that I have every produced and I want to make her proud.  Her Dad is the greatest role model ever. He’s a very fit, healthy, fun, Dad. He runs…a lot! I was a relatively fit and healthy kind of gal pre-pregnancy, but I let myself go when I focused my entire world on my beautiful baby.  And although my world will still be focused on my little girl, it will also start to become a little more focused on me.  How can I be a great Mum, role model and wife when I can’t keep up with my kid at the park, or walk our dog without feeling like I might die? How can I support my future husband in his healthy, fit lifestyle, when I am not those things?

And happiness…. What I believe to be the most important thing in life.  I need to find my happiness.  When I was single I always used to say “I don’t need a man to make me happy, but I’d like one to share my happiness with.”  That was when I knew who I was, what I wanted, where I was going. Since having a baby that has all changed.  I’ve forgotten a large part of who I am, because my whole world revolves around my baby.  I’ve forgotten what I wanted.... thanks to my baby brain! And I’ve lost my way.  For the last 5 months, I have sat on my couch, fed my baby, played with my baby, watched TV while she slept, and eaten all the wrong things in between these activities. 

I know what you’re thinking, “everyone puts on a little bit weight when they have a baby, it’s only natural.” And I’m ok with pregnancy weight gain.  During my pregnancy, I gained 14kg. I could always justify this as a normal weight gain and I wasn’t too upset with it.  But as of today, I now weigh 2kg more than the morning I had my baby.  I was 93kg the morning I went in to hospital.  5 days later, I came home 6kg lighter at 87kg.  So in the last 5 months, I’ve put on 8kg.  And all of it is from not looking after myself, from not caring about myself. And to be honest, it makes me feel disgusted.  And that’s a feeling that I haven’t had in a very long time.

So here it is, my pledge:

I pledge to be a better Mum, role model & Fiancé, to be healthy, fit and happy. In becoming these things, I will reach my goal of weighing 75kg by the 18^th October 2014.

 I don’t plan on counting calories, or eating celery sticks for 12 months.  There is no magic pill that will drop this weight off me.  It will be through hard work and determination. I will be sensible with my food choices and exercise daily.  I will post regular updates on my progress and perhaps a few pics along the way. 

I will make this happen, and it will start now!